


Stratagem

by Bofors_Solution



Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: AffablyEvil!Bdubs, AffablyEvil!Keralis, Gen, Implied Torture, Is it really evil tho?, Memory Alteration, Mentioned Interrogation, and no im not trying to overtake their work, as part of the story of course, both in general and work specific, don't worry i'll link them, like a lot of them, references to other people's work, slight Manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofors_Solution/pseuds/Bofors_Solution
Summary: "Damage assessment. That’s why. Brian and his entourage damn near gave me a stroke..."
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Stratagem

Keralis, a not-too-lethargic hermit of hermitcraft, landed on the balcony of his skyscraper office. He had just arrived back from the shopping district, collecting his profit from Lookie-Lookie At My Bookie. Still surprised that people buy books for enchantment that shouldn't even have any practical value to them

He pressed a button under his office desk opening a hidden passage into the adjacent skyscraper building accompanied with a welcoming beep. The passage lead into a what is effectively an scaled-down network operation center, complete with tracking device, frequency scanner, admin panel, computer, and monitors. He had just finished set it up a few weeks ago since he finished both skyscraper. 

Keralis stood before the illuminated map of the server. On it was several blinking light representing each and every single hermits complete with health, inventory, movement, and status tracking. A state-of-the-art technology with near perfect precision dedicated to for the unthinkable.

This has been just like any other day when he doesn’t have anything to do since he returned in season 6, Keralis would just watch other hermit activities from afar. Shenanigan no matter how far or obscure it is, will _always_ be known by him. And it’s good for him since he can makes jokes on a hermit that other hermit won’t know.

But watching over the hermit is _definitely_ not part his job, that's Xisuma and Grian job. They're here to make sure the server stays afloat, but Keralis? he's here to write history itself.

* * *

**_The next day_ **

Keralis has just finished writing up another protocol plan for his monitoring team. This one is designed to recondition the hermit after a possible invasion from Helscraft, which involve systematic abduction, and information control on both side. It’s one of the more tedious task Keralis had to put up since he nor his team know anything about Helscraft and it’s god awful inhabitant, save for Helsknight being an exception, but even then he has to wrangle him with copius amount of poison and paralyzing agent. And of course, the scream of the knight wouldn't leave him for quite sometime. _"Give it up Helsy! you're the idiot that is stuck here and powerless!"_

Putting up the protocol sheet along other plan, Keralis hoped would never used them twice.

He began stretching his arm only for a though to cross his mind, _Why am i here again?_

A few weeks before he returned in season 6, he was transferred into Hermitcraft - partially because his familiarity, partially due to the new hermit bringing a lot of problem - so he could overseer its monitoring operation. He gladly accept the change of scenery, which wouldn't be a problem if Doc and Scar would be able come to their sense. He orchestrated it so good, yet they decide to keep the damn time machine rather than outright destroying it.

 _That_ created a chain of reaction of a slowly-aproaching chaos entity; Herobrine. Fortunately, Keralis and his team manage intercept him before he could reach present time Hermitcraft. Unfortunately, this would mean he has to join in incase he has to handle stuff at moment notice.

_Damage assessment. That’s why. Brian and his entourage damn near gave me a stroke…_

Keralis stood up from the chair he has been sitting for the last two hour. It was early enough that most of the hermit are still asleep, and he knew if someone figure out he is already working at 4:30 in the morning his butt will be back at a nearby bed faster than he could say ‘Im alive!’. But fortunately no one know about his sleeping schedule, not like the Admin, he couldn’t even count how many time Grian has to drag his overworking body onto a bed.

Then as convenient as it could be, his two-way radio buzzed, indicating a transmission from his monitoring team. He fished it out of his construction vest before switching it on.

“Hellooo?”

"Hey Kamalis, we have another case."

“Who is it this time?”

"Zedaph. He’s been dying in the void five times in a row in the last ten minutes, and there are no death log at all."

Keralis immediately turned his head into the server map, focusing on Zedaph movement, “Zedaph? Isn’t he’s just testing his new bumless pit?”

"No, his movement pattern shows that as soon as he spawned he immediately goes for the pit and we’re detecting memory suppression on him too."

“But why contact me? why not Ghost? He knew more than me about memory suppression.”

"You know him, we’ve tried calling him for the last seven minutes. He won’t pick it up, probably still asleep."

“Alright, i’ll take care of him,” Keralis sighed.

_Damn idiot..._

Accessing Tango phone from his laptop, Keralis set the sound volume to the limit before setting the alarm off in one minutes. He then accessed into Zedaph phone, sending a message written with nothing but the word ‘help’ to tango. 

“Done,” Keralis said, followed by his malevolent giggle.

"How? you didn’t even leave the post."

“I know, i’m going to let Mr. Tango take care of it. Just sit back and relax”, Keralis put his attention to the hermit status monitor, focusing on Tango heart rate.

After exactly 18.23 second he saw that Tango heart rate jumped up to 180 bpm. He let out his devilish giggle at the image of Tango being blasted away from his bed.

But pranking innocent hermit aside, his plan has worked! As soon Tango recovered from his explodificated wake up session he immediately head into Zedaph cave of contraption after he had noticed the message from Zedaph.

"You know Kamalis, i should have expect this from you. You literally are the most malevolent innocent person i’ve ever seen."

“Duude.. i was just taking opportunity to have fun. There’s nothing wrong in that.”

"You threaten Beef to turn Carlos into a stew for free poster and music instrument, killed Stress villager because you’re too lazy to move them, and now planning an airstrike on a town. Why are you suddenly became so wrongful?"

“First of all Beef is the one that started it, second of all Stress villager is annoying to everyone else. So it’s all justified.”

"Dude, do you know what they are going to ask first when they find out all about this?"

* * *

_How can he be that evil?_

Grian clutched his bleeding right arm on his way out of Keralis office, with blood trail following behind him.

He had teleported himself into Keralis place as a prank, but ended up being traumatized. Keralis initially tried to calm down the watcher nerve at the sudden revelation, but failed when Grian realize he’s about to be mind wiped, something which he was deathly terrified. It ended with Keralis trying to slit Grian jugular vein with a spatula and Grian using his watcher power to freeze Keralis in place.

But that doesn’t matter now, what matter is that he need to tell the other hermit. 

Just when he’s about to call other for help, he felt a strong blunt force on the back of his head. It was so strong he can smell the color of white. His vision went dark before he even hit the ground.

The assailant drag Grian body back into the monitoring post before he prop them on a chair. He then open up the admin panel, typing an unfreeze command to Keralis before clearing the command log.

Keralis felt the numbness from being frozen subside, spreading outward from his chest. “Bubbles! where have you been?”

“Been working on my castle and some farm, sorry about that. Also a side note, you should have expected him to find out. He’s a mischievous reason of a watcher after all.” 

Of course, _The Watcher_. The two had seen them, make a full report of them, and even Keralis had succeeded in leading a small team to neutralize a particularly dangerous one. They’re pretty much just admin with reality bending capability. They’re quite powerful but easily taken down if you know how to make their power bite them back in the ass or make one of them fight each other if you’re too lazy to be smart. 

And here they are standing in front of one right now. Right arm still bleeding from an gash that he got when keralis inadvertently try to stab him with a spatula out of all thing.

Bdubs pulled a medical shulker box from a nearby chest and treated the deep gash on Grian right arm. “Tell me… why did you tell Tango when Zedaph stuck in the pit again?” He pulled another box, this one labeled with ‘amnesiac.’ and grabbed a syringe and a canister filled with blue liquid. 

“I didn’t tell Tango, I just reminded him”

Bdubs inserted the needle into the canister and extracted the blue fluid, before finally injecting it into Grian still pulsing vein. “Sure you did,” Bdubs joked. “But seriously why?”

“I'm just tired of handling him, beside i want to see where they’re going to take their bumless void pit shenanigan.” This was true; For Keralis, Zedaph is a tough cookie in a good sense. He had survived being put in a [high-altitude high-speed chase, rammed into a wall from said chase, and buried alive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893698), scrambled to death by a glitch set up by his former sidekick, [turned into a ghost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961453), [then into a void entity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25652578) after being stuck there for a few weeks, and finally [a half ghast creature](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25704343). But Keralis can’t just mind wipe him all the time, he got to write the history after all, so he let this one pass .

Keralis zoomed in on Zedaph position on the map, noticing the ZIT team member huddled close to Xisuma. “Looks like they’re having the talk with Shashwammy.”

Bdubs lifted Grian still unconscious body before putting it over his shoulder. “Going to bring him back and meet up with Scar. See ya later Overseer Kamalis.”

“Later Bubbles or should I say it, _Ghost_.” The Overseer sighed, waiting for whatever hot mess the hermit can throw at themself that he has to pass off as history or not. Which is…

* * *

“ _Sam Gladiator_. what do you have to say? [Brian shot you dead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746162/chapters/57252613) and [Iskall already shred you to bits](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24670324/chapters/62436142), don't you have anything better to do?” Keralis nudge his leg at the tiep up person, slowly inching his body into the drop below. Sam had tried to break into Hermitcraft again to get his revenge at Grian for leaving him, but as per usual it did not go as planned.

The man looks up at the two hermit. Eyes and face completely devoid of any positive or sane emotion. “I don’t care what you do. I’m still going to get Gre-,” He was cut off as Keralis kicked him off into the ravine below.

Bdubs looked down in the ravine, trying to locate the hopefully still alive Sam. “You sure to put him there?”

“Those worker union guys should take good care of him. Come on Bubbles, let's go back home.” The two returned back to Bdubs house to discuss plan and their roster list. 

“So… what do we do now?” Bdubs went to his kitchen to prepare a food for the two. 

“I don’t know to be honest. Guess we'll wait for the next dumpster fire and we’ll see how they handle it.” 

Bdubs turn back to look at Keralis who was sitting at the dinner table. “Dumpster fire?”

“No! not like that. i’m not saying they’re bad, in fact i’ve learned a few thing from them. But it just that they are… dumb, like really-larry dumb.” He gave Bdubs an apogeletic looks on his face.

“Eh.. it doesn’t really matter, you’re their hidden god of history after all.” Bdubs returned from his kitchen, bowl of soup in both hand. “Anyways, let’s eat!”

It was a peaceful week for the two.

At least it was until dumpster is lit up.

**Author's Note:**

> So there's my first fic people. Hope yall enjoy it.
> 
> Also got to say thank you to all whose work I reference and practically everyone cause this thing is literally based off all of the work here.


End file.
